Stop it you are getting on my nerves! Parenting Teenagers

Modern Day Parenting

Parenting Teens is one of my favourite topics. Family conflict can be very frustrating and difficult teenagers even more so. But are we as the parents making things worse for ourselves? That was a thought I had recently so I asked one of my Teen Writers to tell us what gets on their nerves. So here you have it straight from the horse’s mouth over to you- Annie Brebner, 14 from Ontario, Canada.

What are some things parents do that get on their teens’ nerves?

I think that in every family there is something that parents can do that gets on their teens’ nerves, and vice versa. I’m sure that the conflicts differ within each family, but through my experience with my own parents and with my close friends’ parents, I can definitely think of some common things parents do, over and over, that can really annoy their kids.

A parent hypocrite is something that annoys tons of teens.

Whether it’s just a small thing or a big subject, parents that tell their kids to not do something or to stop doing something, that they themselves do, drives kids crazy! For example, when my mom tries to call me on my cell phone, and for one reason or another I don’t pick up, she gets annoyed. Though it is not a huge conflict, she will confront me and ask me why I didn’t pick up my phone, etc. Then she will turn around and forget her phone when she goes out. This annoys me because in my mind I’m thinking, “you were just angry at me for not answering my phone and you don’t even have yours with you. What if I need to get in touch with you?”

To solve this problem, I think parents and teens just need to be open with each other and let one another know that they don’t like it when they don’t pick up their phones. Then they can both work on improving their problem together.

Another big thing that parents can do that gets on their teens nerves is to give irrelevant punishments. Some kids get punished in a way that makes no sense.

When teens are given a punishment, for example being “grounded,” I think they deserve to know why. Sometimes grounding works and other times it is completely pointless. Let’s say I failed my English test because I was spending too much time with my friends and not enough time studying. I would completely understand if my parents said,” Annie, you are not allowed to hang out with your friends this weekend because you need to focus on your school work.” I would think that was a fair punishment and I would go along with it. But I wouldn’t think it was fair if they told me I wasn’t allowed T.V. for a month. As that punishment doesn’t have anything to do with what I did wrong, and also doesn’t help me learn from my mistake (I would still be able to be as social as I was before). I think that when parents give unnecessary and irrelevant punishments, teens are less likely to take their punishment seriously, or they are less likely to understand what they did wrong and learn from it.

So, if I could make any suggestions it would be explaining to your teen what they did wrong and why they are being given a particular punishment. That way, there is more understanding between the parent and teen and there will hopefully be a better result.

About Annie

My name is Annie Brebner. I am fourteen years old and am the eldest of three kids.

I live In Ontario, Canada. I am in Grade 9 and am in my first year of high school.

I like to read, play the guitar, cook, hang out with my friends, and watch movies.

I play on a girls ice hockey team, I run and I also am pretty dedicated to my ballet.

I am really interested in travel and I want to one day visit Europe!

Read more about the Teen Edition Conversation Cards.

Author Bio

Sarah NewtonFounder

Sarah Newton is an eclectic mix of sensitivity, wonder, common sense, wisdom and humour. Known affectionately as the Family Peacemaker Sarah's work spanning over 14 years has seen her on 13 TV stations, 60 different radio stations and has received extensive newspaper and magazine coverage. Called Bubbles by her friends Sarah's day job is Youth Expert, Family Peacemaker, Thought Leader, Blogger, ( Author, Entrepreneur, geek and crazy chic all rolled into one. The Rest of the time she is a happy mum, loving wife, adventurer and closet 50's Diva. Oh and she also fancies herself as a bit of a Dance floor Diva!

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